New Year 2012

Happy new yearrr!! DUM DAM DUM DAM.

baru je balik dari hometown 2 hari lepas. then da nk masuk tahun baru. tinggal pulak di rumah sorang2. housemates semua xde. sedihkan. igt nk balik hometown lagi. siap da call family cakap nk balik sebab xde class sampai few days. tapi kene siapkan project pulak. presentation n submission next week. x sempat nk berholiday sangat. tinggal kat rumah sorang2 mmg terasa sgt sunyi. tp best jgk sesekali tinggal kat rumah sorg2. "terasa umah itu aku yang punya" haha.

sorg ke tak ke same je. activity kat rumah tetap same, cume terasa sunyi xde suara2 org. tp xpe, ade drama korean yang menemani hehe. this time layan "prosecutor princess". best jgk drama ni. even baru start today and baru je sampai episode 5, rase drama ni mmg best. permulaan drama best. best la utk kite yang suka princess2 and yang suke berangan hehe. then da sampai few episodes da mula bercerita bab kerjaya as a prosecutor. teringat my sister bila tgk drama ni.

Even though she is a prosecutor, tapi tgk la office ^_^

Its a musttt to highlight Jimmy Choo high heels dalam Prosecutor Princess ni

then b4 countdown new year, kitorang buat barbecue. as ussual ramai kawan2 rapat bersama2 memeriahkn suasana. menjelang je 12 midnight upacara membakar mercun. waahhh bunyinya sangat hebat n sangat meriah. selagi mercun2 tu tak abes, selagi tu xkan puas. and selagi x injured selagi tu tak puas jgk hahaha.

bukan kawan2 je yang celebrate, special guest yang dibawa dari rumah pn ade. siapakah dia? nama nya baby@nico. baby ialah tetamu kecil kami. "baby monkey". sangat comel. lagi kecil dari baby manusia. warna bulunya seakan2 gold.

Baby Nico icap cucu

bila teringat pulak angka umurkuuuu, alamakkkk todaaaakk. eh todak pulak, "tidak" haha. oh now i feel too old for my age. many things havent done well >_< i need to move up! if in korean drama they say "fighting!" :P opsss korean? sounds like childish tak? haha nak membesar dengan matang tengok la horror movie. not korean or barbie. haha kononnye lah :P its ok age is jz a number (pujuk hati sendiri) ^_^ and dikira2 pulak dah 7 years persahabatan anis dengan kawan anis. umur pn sama. menjerit la sama2!! hahaha

banyak lagi azam dan cita2 yang perlu dikejar. now im finishing my studies. its a 'must' to get a great job. and look at my friends yang da beranak pinak. lagi terasa bila yang lagi muda da kawin. for me, bagai menunggu buah yang tak jatuh haha. bukannya tergesa2 nak kawin, even tak ready pn lagi. orang lain je yang risau lebih :P umur sekarang masih muda, bukannya tua pn. lom lagi andartu hehe. terasa budak2 lagi. masih di alam universitas

alkisahnya new year ku tahun ni tak berseorangan. hehe... countdown last year was with my housemate. and countdown this with my beloved friends. i loike ^_^ thx friends ;)

FRIENDS with EX

Friends with ur EX! tettttttt ^_^     >_<     @_@     #_#  

Have u ever experienced being friends with ur ex? Ok i question u, can u really stay friends after u've split with a guy or will u both be harbouring unhelpful hidden agendas fed by lust, love or a desire for revenge? All's fine till he finds out about ur new BOYFRIEND!

If i question myself, my answer is YES. but long long time ago :P

OMG no words, there's nothing more cringeful than seeing my ex for the 1st time since we split. How should i handle? If i make a quit exit it will look like im still not over him or that i feel like a complete heel bout causing breakup. If i hv polite conversation then every eye will be on the two of us & we could end up with the awkwardness of dealing with the "let's catch up for coffee sometime" scenario.

Its a nice idea, after all, at one point, i thought this guy was the one, so why i throw all those years down the drain when i could still remain friends for old time's sake. time for a reality check and be honest with myself. we still be friends? will be able to chat about studies and friends n our love life without feeling we're entering dangerous or difficult territory? or will meeting up for a latte or three every few months lead to an emotional slippery slope where i delay getting over each other bcz i am still bitter and twisted about what happened or still truly, madly, deeply in love. The point to breaking up after all is that we dont see each other anymore.

There are some couples after they broke up, they are still best buddies. But then there are couples havent been able to let go of each other. Is that what i want? before i decide how to play out my recent split, i have to be aware of the let's-stay-friends pitfalls n positives.

Lets catch some tips about what im gonna do if :

If he broke it off,

When a guy breaks it off when i'm still in love with him, at 1st i go into total character assassination mode. to my friends i point out all of his flaws, from snoring to emotional immaturity & they tell me the things they secretly didnt like about him. Instantly i feel better that he wasnt the kind of guy i should waste anymore time on. Who needs him anyway? only trouble is, over time all memory of those annoying habits may start to get wiped from my hard drive. once i'm really missing the cosy day like crazy i may remember only his good points.

If i broke it off,

maybe i acted too hastily. maybe he was as good as it gets. maybe i'm a fool and i should never have dumped him. i may torture myself with these kind of thoughts n concerns months or even years after a breakup that i initiated. The problem? ongoing single status since the split can make me start to completely lose confidence in my decision. The same doubts can creep in if i've gone through quite a few relationships and they've all been dead end. but jz when im ready to beg him to come back to me, then text :P then meet up for a quick bite which seeing him again reminds me how arrogant, sarcastic, work obbessed, self centred, n vain he was. within a nanosecond  im cured of wanting him back and remainded that i was absolutely, totally, completely right to give him the flick.

 

and if my ex still hangs out with me and i can share a joke or a coffee now and then it sends a strong signal to other ppl to back off.

Si Gadis Jatuh Tangga

Alkisahnya bermula pada suatu malam. Nini, Hana, & Intan pegi study kat library. Time tu library full. Kitorang study kat 1st floor. Then ada sorang student naik tangga. Sampai je tengah2 tangga tu, dalam suasana library time tu yang sangat sunyi sepi walaupn ramai orang, tetibe "tercemar" dengan bunyi "AAAHH". Kuat tapi sesaat je. Semua orang pandang ke arah bunyi tu. Student yang kat 2nd floor pun semuanya intai ke bawah. Rupanya ada budak jatuh tangga. Da terduduk atas tangga tu. Si gadis..Kesiannya.. Then ada one guy yang naik tangga da sampai atas da, turun balik nak tolong budak jatuh tangga tu. He asked, "are you ok?". Then girl yang jatuh tu tunduk je muka, langsung tak pandang lelaki tu. She said "I'm ok", then terus naik atas pegi 2nd floor. Da tak sanggup agaknya. Malu sangat.. She should thank him but faham lah keadaan dia.

Around 15 minutes after that, then girl tu turun pegi 1st floor. Sekali sampai je kat 1st floor semua orang tak henti-henti ketawa. Jahatnyaa... Haha tapi sebenarnya diorang geli hati tgk budak pempuan tu jatuh tadi. Nini tengok at first semua orang terdiam sebab terkejut tengok budak tu jatuh. Sekali budak tu bangun and pandang diorang, diorang semua tersembur ketawa. Especially Intan & Hana. Budak budak dalam library tu ketawa sampai library tutup. Haha tak jadi study dibuatnya. Apa yang geli hati sangat ntah.

Okay lets continue studying

Malas layan diorang ketawa dan budak jatuh tu. Nini pun sambung study. Tengah tengah study tu tetiba Nini terpandang jari kaki Nini luka. Before nampak luka tu tak rasa sakit langsung. Sekali nampak je luka tu terus rasa sakit. Rupanya Nini lah Si Gadis Jatuh Tangga tu.. Hihihi

Hana my craziest housemate

Intan

Dan.. Rupa rupanya si Intan & Hana da post incident Nini jatuh tangga tu dalam FB. Banyak comment simpati. Haha kelakar. Diorang ingat teruk sangat. Ada pulak yang tambah tambah cerita cakap Nini jatuh tergolek golek sampai ke ground floor tempat security depan pintu library tu. Tak masuk akal.. Ada pulak yang percaya hahaha. Nasib baik takde yang record :P

Ingatkan end of story la kan. Sekali sampai 2 minggu pun still budak budak dalam library tu asyik senyum and ketawa sebab student sama yang pegi library. Even tak kenal pun da jadi kenal.

Photos taken during the night ^_*

It's not over

Ok as we know, who’s not afriad to fall because getting up is so hard if it hurt when you reach the ground. But don't ever be afraid to open your eyes and let go the bad things happened. What past is past.


Ok.. Long story short, again I was grounded for months. Actually not too many people know about my recent breakup, opss.. 'breakup'. Such a nice word to mention. & being only human, I had moments of saying to myself, “never again”. Sometimes I allow the failed relationship to taint my heart. It really does take a long time to get over someone you truly care. I myself have felt that way. Sobsss...

But, you know, after all that heartache, when I do find love again, it will be even more wonderful. I asked myself, had I been setting myself up to be afraid to fall in love.. I dont think so, but for others, this is a reality. That they cannot fall in love, because they are afraid.


As with all things that are good, beautiful, & great, sometimes I just need to let go of my fears. The gift of love, the gift of being in a relationship with someone I care about, & hopefully someone I fall in love with, is enough for me to hope, & hold on to that hope until that day comes, when I find the right person for me.

Its important that I pick myself up & not drown myself in forever sorrows. Maybe its just not meant to be, maybe there is someone more compatible waiting out there. But if I do not move on, I'll never find out. I mean come on, there's really no way that I can do WORSE!


I have come to realize all the good moments, the blessings, the undeniable love that I had. Its easy to build a relationship with someone. It starts with conversation & learning about 1 another & you’ll find that it rapidly moves on to he-ing and she-ing as that's how we’re all programmed. Keeping a good relationship is tougher because it seems that 1 person tends to think all the work has been done and a relationship is always evolving.


Love is the most exiting and most wonderful thing that life suggests for us. Love brings happiness, inspiration, incredible power, it enables you to do things you would never imagine u are able to do. It is so nice to love someone & to be loved, however, it is really not so easy to find the ONE.
and still, i am looking & hoping to find love again in that somebody ! ^_^

All About My Diary

Friends fear, about me or about their innocence?

Wow... This is still a tough one for me. I used to keep a diary, & during my first year of high school, I was confused &, well, experimenting. I loved to write, so that is what I did. I wrote about everything in my diary; my trials & errors, my sadness, my fears, my friends, my family.


Then one day my best friend did the most distrusting thing... She read my diary! She said it was because she was worried about me... Which is no excuse whatsoever! & I still have not forgive that action she took. Long story short... I got in a lot of trouble for the evidence my diary possessed, I was grounded for months & she tried to put me through therapy for it... Which pissed me off even more at the time. I hated her for a long time following, & I've punished her since. You see, she always wanted me to be a writer. So I stopped writing... Then blamed it on her.


Now, I cant tell if that was more a punishment for her or myself. Anyway, it is still a sore subject almost 10 years later. But I know even though I being upset over reading my diary, but I also have to understand that for a best friend to go to those measures to find out what is going on with her best friend is heartbreaking enough. I look at it as a wake up call & a learning experience for all of us.


I have gone through challenging moments growing up, but instead of using them as an excuse of why I chose not to pursue my passion I channeled my energies in other directions.

"It is often better to decide what is important to hold on to, what we are going to forgive, & what we let haunt us & perhaps move on."

My Lucky & Unlucky Life

When I was borned, I came bounding into a world of love & laughter. I was the 1st child & the primary focus of my entire extended family. My parents were young & energetic and had every good intention for their new babygirl. I grew up with opportunities for intellectual & spiritual growth, secure in the knowledge that I was loved, free from fear, & confident that my world was close to perfect. & I was the center of a world that had meaning only in terms of its effect on me.

This state of innocence persisted through my age, but change dramatically. Everything change in the wink of an eye. With this compassion & experience comes an even greater responsibility.

"To whom much is given, of him will much be required"

As I move forward in my life, it is my hope that I can begin to see other people from 2 vantage points which are theirs & mine. By doin this, I will begin to understand that with my every position or emotion there may be someone else standing at an equally valid, yet possible opposite point. & that life, for them, has a different hue.