I think u still love me. But we cant escape the fact that im not enough for u. I knew this was goin to happen. So im not blaming u for falling in love with another woman. Im not angry either. I should be, but im not. I jz feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought i could imagine how much this would hurt, but i was wrong.
I was seeking that special person who is right for me. But if i've been through enough relationships, i begin to suspect theres no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Because i myself, am wrong in some way, and i seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into my own wrongness. It isnt until i finally run up against my deepest demons, my unsolvable problems, the ones that make me truly who i am, that im ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do i finally know what im looking for. Im looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person, but its the right wrong person, some1 i lovingly gaze upon and think that this is the problem i want to have. I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way. Let my scars fall in love.
I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But i was beginning to believe that a very few times in my life, if i am lucky, i might meet some1 who was exactly right for me. Not because he was perfect, not because i was, but because our combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.
